Blog

Prayer

2012-12-28T22:11:12Z

I have never in my entire life, witnessed the power of prayer so profoundly and so real than I have these last few months. This is partly due to the fact that I’ve never fully grasped what it means to pray, and how to pray. I realized that this ignorance or oblivion to the power of prayer has limited God’s work and grace in my life more than I could ever imagine. Much of my prayers prior to this awakening were insincere. I asked for things that I did not wish. For example, “Lord, Baptize me with the Holy spirit, give me a fresh renewal of your spirit in my life.” I wanted the peripheral, the outward expression of being renewed by the spirit, like having unending joy, new power in reading the word, a fire inside me, a passion, etc. But if I truly understood what baptism of the holy spirit really entailed or involved, it would mean antagonism with the world, how by asking for it, it might necessitate me to humble myself and reach out to the poor, the broken and needy, how it may mean to offer my life as broken bread and poured out wine. If I knew this, instead I would pray the opposite for I didn’t know what I was asking for. The same goes for anything we ask in Jesus’ name. If we ask God in truth and with a sincere and genuine heart for these things that we pray for, he will hear but it must me real, it must be sincerely desired. How do we know that God will listen to our prayers? Jesus says, “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you shall ask what you will, and it shall be done unto you.” For us to abide in Christ, we need to bear the same relationship. Like the example he gives us of the branches bearing fruit from the vine. The two work together. We must renounce any independence of our own, any thoughts, any feelings that we have for ourselves, and let Christ think those thoughts, feelings, and purposes for us. Because ultimately, the prayers that God answers are the prayers that are inspired by Him. Even now Jesus prays for us. In Heaven he sits on his throne and intercedes on our behalf. Isn’t this amazing! God answers the prayers of Jesus. Where would we be if Christ did not think about us and pray to the Father on our behalf? He knows us more than we know ourselves and his plans and purposes far outdo ours. What a sweet repose in times of trouble. Even if you don’t feel like praying, continue all the more to do so. Often times, the prayers availed by God are the ones given in the seasons of utter darkness when our hearts are cold, but even then just the quietness we give him is enough. May this open your eyes like it has opened mine! I'm tired of pretending to know God. I want my relationship to be real, so real I can see it and feel it. Jesus teach me to pray.

A Burning Hearts Cry

2012-12-11T23:27:57Z

Most merciful and gracious God,

How many lovely thoughts can I think about you in the sum of one day? If I were to count them, there would not be enough to articulate how I truly feel. I just want to be with you always, because only you truly understand my heart’s desire. You define every clouded vision, you transpire joys in my heart that are inconceivable, you bring about a happiness that’s beyond any dream, a bliss so sweet that if I linger just a little longer, I find myself drowning in it. And When I experience these moments, moments I can’t even describe I wonder if it could just last forever. Does it have to end? I know your purpose for my life now. I know what I have to do. And oh, how it consoles my soul to know you are with me, guiding me for the purpose and plan you have so perfectly laid out for my life. And just when I think I cannot be of any avail, because I am so flawed, so utterly skewed in thought, you still willingly choose to use me. Even despite all of my inadequacies and failures you use me. But you see it so differently than I. Your thoughts are so fond and lovely towards me. I never knew a love so deep existed between a Father and his child. You compare us to the most beautiful creations you’ve created. As I read your love letters to us in the Song of Songs, I’m amazed at the beauty you’ve bestowed upon us. In there you write “You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.” The garden and the spring are your creation. And when you created them at the beginning of time, they were completely perfect, for you said, “It is good.” Oh Lord, I want to see how things looked when you said, “It is good.” What did "good" look like in your sight? What was lovely to you? Could I behold that now if I were to see it? What I think is beautiful, do you see it in the same way? Yet in your Book, you compare us to the most celestial of things. Perhaps only in heaven will we be able to fully understand and see what true loveliness looks like. Maybe thats why I feel so close to you when I see a painted sunset, or a misty morning dawn, they are untouched and I see what you saw when you said it was beautiful. Jesus I can hardly wait for your return so that I can be with you in Heaven, to behold your beauty and to worship you always. Only in Heaven will I be at the fullest potential you’ve created me to be. The gifts you’ve given me will be maximized to the highest point with absolutely no hindrance holding me down. To think about it seems like a dream. To behold it with my heart, my soul, and my eyes will be eternity.

Yours forever,
Christina

Morning by Morning

2012-11-27T16:58:43Z

Every morning I’ve committed to reading through a devotion by Charles Spurgeon called Morning by Morning. It’s a simple read that is also provided with a passage in the Bible that is meant to encourage and spur one’s day into service and devotion unto the Lord. As I read the devotions, I’m astounded at how each day speaks to me in a way I never knew could. Today’s read was from the book of Ecclesiastes. The verse that spoke to me was verse 10 of Chapter 9 where it says, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.” Such somber words are those, but how true also. Those words of wisdom should compel us to work at everything with our whole hearts at this very moment in our lives because we only have one life to live, and quickly does it come to an end. Whatever our hands find to do, we should work at it with all our might. Not partially with an unwillingness or worse with a begrudging attitude. Let us not wait for a larger opportunity to be used by God, nor wait for a different kind of work to be used by Him. But rather let us do the thing he has for us to do in this very moment of our lives. We have no other time in which to live. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow has not arrived, all we have is the present, this very moment in which we can be used by God. And in this moment be willing. Pray for a willing heart. Oh how it makes all the difference when a heart is willing, it can change everything. Don’t wait until your experiences have cultivated into readiness or maturity, but rather endeavor to serve God now. Through our weaknesses and inadequacies, He is made strong. The once fallow ground will begin to harvest itself. I don’t know about you, but this spurs me on! I am so encouraged and ready to serve the Lord full-heartedly at this perfect time in my life. And as long as He has given me the strength to do so, I will do it with all my might. But my might is not of myself, for I am perfect weakness. My might comes from the wounded healer, the Lord of hosts. He is my strength in weakness.

In Christ's love,

Christina

Internet & Social Media

2012-06-26T02:05:10Z

A couple of nights ago I was heavy burdened in my heart to write to you all about the way I've been choosing to live my life. I allowed myself to discount every form of conviction from the Lord and it left me feeling completely bereft and numb. I replaced the joy of living in the moment with the false notion of living a life through social media. I'm confessing this to God and to myself because I've been living a life that's been elusive and fabricated. The Internet has no longer served me but instead I found myself serving it. I made it my God. I worshipped it. The first thing I wanted to do in the morning was check my instagram and Facebook accounts. I created an idol within my heart that only destroyed me in the end. It's so hard when you're faced with a culture that's predominately made up of social media. The truth is, technology has made us dumber. We cannot read a deep, challenging book anymore because it requires way too much thinking. Our lingo has become so colloquial that our words don't even articulate what we are trying to say. When I pray to God, sometimes I don't even remember what I said because my attention span lasts no longer than five seconds. All this technology and social media has left us incoherent. Its dehumanizing us and its a scary thought but its the truth. What was once an event out of our day has become a nuisance in someone's else's. We cant live in the moment anymore. What a life to bemoan! But with all this said, I know that through it all God has given us hearts to feel, and a mind to think. I just don't want to see my life trying to live up to a standard that is of this world. I have deep within myself a desire which nothing in this world can satisfy, thus I know with full assurance that I was made for another world. Heaven is my home. I want to live every second of my life for Christ and upon the riches of knowing Christ. Lord help me!

Worship Matters

2012-02-09T04:40:14Z

“What’s the greatest challenge you face as a worship leader?” Asking myself this question stretched me a bit because I truly did have to stop and evaluate myself and my motives. Most of the challenges I face stem from the exterior and are superficial but I think at the root of it, the challenge lies within my heart. I can confess to this because so many times when I lead worship, my heart is not right with the Lord and I’m on stage trying to get others to worship when I myself am not worshipping. I think that truly is the core of it. Even worship leaders can create idols in their heart when they elevate things higher than worshipping Jesus. Although the idols we create in our heart such as power, reputation and control can seem very subtle, they can be just as destructive and severe and drive us away from the Lord. I also confess that on so many levels I’ve taken the glory of man and craved the applauds and adoration of men when it was not mine to receive but the Lords. I’ve created out of this an idol of myself in my heart. Jesus is not pleased with this. He desires that our gifts may be utilized to further his kingdom and radiate the glory back to him. Worship is not the songs we sing on Sunday mornings, it’s about our hearts and what we love more than anything. Worship is a lifestyle being offered up to God daily. What we love more than anything will determine what we worship and how we worship. Our hearts need to constantly be checked because we cannot worship God or love anything right if our love for God is not elevated higher than all those things. Lord, help me to be used as a conduit to further your kingdom. It’s not about me, it’s about you. Lord you’re not looking for someone brilliant to complete the task; you’re looking for something broken. Please take these hands, I know they’re empty but with you they can be used for beauty in your perfect plan. All I am is yours.

Radio single- "Like an Avalanche"

2012-02-02T04:36:08Z

This week has been such a crazy week! So many things are going on, good things! Like most of you already know, I sent out my single “Like an Avalanche” to radio and a stir of emotions came upon me because I didn’t know what to expect. It’s such a vulnerable position to be in because one decision can truly make you or break you especially when it’s your passion or dream. I’ve invested so much in this musical endeavor that sometimes I can get so lost in the process of it all and what could be in store that I forget the things that are of infinite importance, for God to be glorified. Lord, help me to be anchored to the cross. Help me see that it’s not about me, it’s about you. I don’t want to miss you when you’re right before my eyes. Everything else is vanity if you are not the center. I feel more assured now knowing that I did everything that I possibly could. The rest, God did. He provided so much and met me where I needed him, which was every minute of every day! I never want to live life with regrets and having the thoughts, “What if..” I want to live knowing I did all that I could. And I’ve done just that. If you could, please pray for me. Pray that God may use me for His glory, to further His kingdom through my music. Ultimately, pray for His will to be done. Thank you!

Heb. 6:19

Christina

The Rock

2012-01-26T03:59:25Z

“When the world around you is crumbling, God is the rock on which you can stand.” This is so true! When you feel like you’re being tossed and swayed through the storms of this life, you can find shelter beneath the wings of Jesus. A man named Augustus Toplady, as he was walking through the English countryside was overtaken by a storm that swept everything away. He sought refuge in this storm through the hand of Jesus. It was during this time that he wrote such beautiful words to the hymn, “Rock of Ages” in 1775. Even to this day these words prove to be a source of encouragement. Jesus is the Rock of Ages, stand firm in Him and hide beneath the comfort of his wings. When the struggles of this life plague you, find assurance in Christ. He’s the only thing that will remain constant and keep you steady. You can’t do this alone, you need Jesus. I Pray this is an encouragement to you!

Christina

In Jesus

2012-01-19T03:43:03Z

Just recently I’ve expressed this deep passion for hymns. I never really was a fan for hymns because they seemed dated, and traditional, et cetera. I must confess that I’ve been wrong about them. Hymns are truly heartfelt, deep, impactful, and timeless. People hundreds of years ago expressed their worship and love to God through the hymns they wrote and they speak to people even today. I feel like some hymns need to be brought back to life again, and I feel the Lord is placing this desire in my heart to revive these unknown hymns through my modern day music. Last week I read a hymn written by James Procter called “In Jesus.” Procter was a self-confessed atheist who in vain lived his life with the belief of no God and leading others in that detriment. In his search for his purpose in life, he discovered that Jesus is the Savior and renounced an interest in Jesus Christ and gave his life to Him! What an amazing testimony written in this beautiful hymn “In Jesus.” Some of these hymns I read bring me to tears because of their heartfelt affection toward God. They speak to me so deeply that sometimes I can’t believe a man wrote such beautiful awe-inspiring words. I may never have the perfect words to write a song such as many of these reputable men and women but If God can use the humble and slow in speech to articulate his message then he can use me. Like Moses I find myself questioning God, “Who am I?” “I have never been eloquent , neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” But you see, the beauty of our frailties and insecurities define God’s strength in the midst of our inadequacies. He meets us there where we know we can’t do the rest without Him. I see this time and time again in my own life. He takes the stage, I’m just the mouth he so chooses to use when sometimes I don’t even know why. I’m so unworthy. I know that every time I am used to for His glory it’s not in my strength it’s all Jesus. He takes the glory because I am but dust and ashes if it were not his breath of life that breathed in my veins and revived my soul. When I am weak He is strong! I hope as you are reading this blog you are encouraged to drink up in the goodness of our Lord. Offer up your life to Him as broken bread and poured out wine into this world. He will meet you there!

In Christ Love,

Christina

Here’s the hymn by James Procter,

I've tried in vain a thousand ways

My fears to quell, my hopes to raise;

But what I need, the Bible says,

Is ever, only Jesus.

My soul is night, my heart is steel

I cannot see, I cannot feel;

For light, for life, I must appeal

In simple faith to Jesus.

He died, He lives, He reigns, He pleads;

There's love in all His words and deeds;

There's all a guilty sinner needs

Forevermore in Jesus.

Tho' some should sneer, and some should blame,

I'll go with all my guilt and shame;

I'll go to Him because His Name,

Above all names, is Jesus.

Psalm 51

2012-01-12T03:33:29Z

The sacrifice of a broken heart is the most humbling thing we as Christians can offer to God. God does not delight in earthly sacrifices or offerings to win his favor. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit and a contrite heart. Of these God will not despise. It’s so amazing how God in his great mercy sees the good in us in spite of our frailties. He loves us in the midst of our brokeness. When I see my sin in light of God’s grace, my heart is flled with thankfulness. It’s at that moment when I realize what a wretched sinner I am but most importantly, what a great savior He is! My judgment became His, and His life became mine. Such a complete reversal. I don't deserve the slightest bit of grace that God has given me. Like Job, I cry, “I am a vile!” I confess that I’ve given God cheap worship. I've allowed myslef to get lossed in the things of this world rather than getting lost in the beauty of Jesus. I worship Him with my lips, but sometimes, my heart is far from Him. I let the worries of this world distract me and I loose sight of who it is I am worshipping. Jesus is the King of Kings and He deserves so much more than our words than our empty words. It hit me to the core when I read the passage from Malachi 1:18, “ And when you offer the blind as a sacrifice, is it not evil? Offer it then to your Governor! Would he be pleased with you?” Wow! Sunday after Sunday, we offer God cheap worship when we let our minds drift and wander to useless things. To Jesus cheap worship is so unworthy, He would rather shut us out the door than offer cheap sacrifices in his temple. May this change our view on worship. I pray the Lord continues to pour out his grace in our lives because we need it.

Lord have mercy, for I am a man of unclean lips. Who am I that you think of me. I am but dust and ashes.

Christina

Power of Prayer

2012-01-05T04:44:58Z

Yesterday I was reading “Desiring God” by John Piper and I had a revelation. Piper was talking about prayer and how it evokes power in the Christian life. The purpose of prayer is to accomplish a mission, a mission of love. You see, I never really thought of prayer in this perspective. Prayer provides the power to do what we love. For me it’s music, for others it may be something else. Jesus encourages us to “ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.” The answer to this joy is by seeking it through love. I want my ministry in music to be filtered through God’s love and providence. When I put him before my needs it’s left with a joy that does not recoil. If we have this as our focal point, the connection of prayer and fruit bearing will come to fruition. Isn’t that what we hope to accomplish in this life, to bear fruit where God places us? Lord, help me to purse fruit that is abounding to your glory! My gift of singing is not to make me known, it’s to make Him known and lay before Him the glory due His name. When you stop to ponder this truth, I am certain that you too will have a changed perspective on the power of prayer in your life and its connection with bearing fruit. Our purpose in this life is to reflect Christ as mirrors, reflecting back to Jesus the radiance of his worth. I challenge you to make this be your “Mission of Love.” Whatever it is that God has placed in your life, use it as an opportunity to long after the bigger prize, fruit bearing.

“I send you to bear fruit… so that whatever you ask the Father… he may give you.” John 15:16

Hope you have a blessed week!

-Christina